Updated: Oct 13, 2020
The truth of the matter is, if I was not born again I would most differently be in a relationship. I know this because before I gave my life to Christ, falling into relationships was oh so very easy.
That whole getting to know each other stage always had some form of physical element to it, then before you know it you in a full blown relationship with someone you barely know. Realising that actually you are not that compatible, they annoy the hell out you, or they simply are emotionally unavailable.
The problem is now you are in ‘love’ with person because you have given yourself sexually, which creates a different type of bond called ‘Soul Ties’. (soul ties–bonds that can tie us emotionally and spiritually to someone else. unhealthy ones are so hard to break)
As a Women of God, and after working on myself, creating a live that is full filling, feeling happy and content with who I am as a person. Ready and excited to fill ready to date and work towards meeting someone and one day becoming a wife.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 New International Version (NIV) “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Then BANG….the reality of godly dating happens, the questions begin, where do I start? how does this even work? where are all the christian men I’m meant to date?
(There are so not enough christian men for us women-side rant)
My whole dating approach has become one big, massive, mind filed. I am sure that I’m not the only one, to feel the struggle of ‘christian dating’.
Can I say the Struggle is REAL’!!!!!
I’m not going to list the so called rules of ‘Christian Dating’ that you find on other blogs pages, I just wanted to share my thoughts.
Dating for me now, I am not Looking for “the perfect One” The Perfect one does not exist, marriage isn’t really about finding someone you are totally compatible with. It is about understanding, accepting and committing to someone despite difficulties and differences.
The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws, the brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your partner point both of you to the only perfect one, God.
Date with a goal towards marriage, this is differently something that has changed since knowing Christ. Dating with a purpose, means dating with an understanding of the gospel. It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future partner. Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are intentional beings, and have been designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going.
Dating is no different.
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” ( 1 Corinthians 7:2)
Sex is sacred to marriage, God wants us to enjoy all the pleasure of Sex but within marriage, By taking away sex, you quickly learn who people are. what they believe in, what morals and values are important to them. It also gives you time to see if their words match their actions and observe any patterned in their behavior that causes you red flags.
Always guard your heart. The Bible tells us to be very careful about giving our affections, because our heart influences everything else in our life. This is a huge one for me, I feel absolutely everything. Some of us have been given the gift of really loving people and tend to give so much of ourselves, this can often lead to heartache.
This can really impact our thinking and behavior, so it is important that when we start dating to remember. That we can be kind, loving and supportive, However, we must also protect our heart in the process.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.(Proverbs 4:23).
SO in essence Jesus has completely ruined my dating life, YESSSSSSSS but in such a good way.
Although in reality this makes dating a little harder, and may even take a little longer. By changing my thinking, attitude and slowing down the process. I have been saved from a whole lot of pain, unhealthy relationships and soul ties. What a blessing!
Thank you Jesus!
Until next time, stay blessed! live life and know your essence!